Connection and relationships are important parts of our lives. This doesn’t just relate to romance; all forms of relationships are needed—with friends, family, coworkers, and partners.
Healthy connection adds greatly to our lives, but we know that every relationship goes through tough seasons and situations. It’s important to remember that no relationship is healthy 100% of the time, so give yourself and the other person grace and compassion.
With that said, whether your relationships are going great, could be better, are headed for a trainwreck, or somewhere in between, we’ve provided 10 tips that can help. These tips can help save a relationship, bring it to the next level, or maintain healthy patterns that are already set in stone.
**DISCLAIMER: These tips are not a substitute for therapy if that’s what's needed. Also, if you’re finding yourself in a toxic or abusive relationship, please use this hotline for help.
#1: Understand Where Your Relationship is Right Now
If you don’t understand where your relationship is currently, how can you expect to get it to a better spot? Take some time to reflect, either by yourself or with the other person, on what’s working and what’s not. Be honest but kind if you find you’re in a worse spot than you’d like. This step will give you a good foundation to build upon.
#2: Learn to Communicate
We get it, communication is sometimes overthrown around as important to relationships…and that's because, well, it is! But, communication isn’t just about talking. It’s about being open and vulnerable, not holding things in but respectfully getting them off your chest, and listening to understand not to argue and be right.
Some tips to help with this include:
- Practice setting 1-2 nights a week (depending on how often you talk to this person and what you feel is best) for deeper, honest conversations
- After listening, don’t give a rebuttal. Ask a question and get curious. Or say something like “it sounds like you’re feeling ___”
#3: Set and Respect Boundaries
It may seem counterintuitive to set boundaries to grow closer, but it’s true. That’s because boundaries are about what you do or don’t like, what you appreciate, and what you need. Setting these allows you to communicate what you’re needing and helps the other person understand how to best serve you in the relationship. Lastly, it’s so important to respect the boundaries someone else sets and make sure they’re doing the same for you.
#4: Talk to Someone
Sometimes an objective, third-party person can help you sort out any issues you’re having and want to solve. When you're in a relationship, it’s easy to get in too close and miss the forest for the proverbial trees. Bringing someone else in to talk to can help you analyze, process, and come away with healthy solutions. This can be a therapist, a friend, or another trusted person. If you don’t have anyone you can talk to about your relationship, we can connect you with a caring individual who would love to be there for you.
#5: Be Honest and Authentic
Strong, healthy relationships provide space for both people to show up as their genuine selves. If you’re not there right now, that’s okay! It takes time and can be worked on too. Start by expressing your wants, needs, and emotions honestly, not holding anything back. The more you practice being authentic and give the other person space to show their true selves, the stronger your relationship will become!
#6: Show Appreciation
Knowing that you are appreciated in a relationship feels so good and is a great way to build a healthier connection. In fact, receiving appreciation may even make you more appreciative of the other person.1 So, take time to give thanks to the other person in a relationship—whether that be with words or a kind gesture.
#7: Know It Takes Work
It can be easy to get caught up in thinking that healthy relationships come naturally, but the truth is, they take work. Knowing a strong connection is going to take effort is half the battle and allows you to face it head-on. But it’s worth it! When you’re willing to put in the effort, you’ll find a beautiful connection full of trust, respect, and joy.
#8: Get to Know Yourself
Relationships are about equal effort, but sometimes the best way to show up is to know yourself first. If you take the time to get to know yourself, appreciate what you bring to the table, and figure out how to express your emotions, needs, and wants, you're better able to show up. On the other hand, not knowing these things can be a detriment to your relationship and how you’re able to express yourself.
#9: Learn How You Give and Receive Affection
The love languages—words of affirmation, quality time, giving gifts, acts of service, physical touch—are powerful when it comes to building a healthy relationship. Both knowing how you like to receive affection and how you give it will help you best show up in your relationship—and again, this is not just about love or romantic relationships. If both people in a relationship know how they like to give and receive affection, then you can form a stronger connection where each person is being best served by the other.
#10: Have Fun Together
Last, but certainly not least, don’t forget to have fun in your relationships! Yes friendships, family connections, and romantic relationships all take work and won’t always be pretty, but that doesn’t mean you can’t still have fun. Letting go of the difficulties and letting loose together can build stronger connections. Take time to try something new, or do something that either or both of you enjoy—this shows that you’re willing to put in the effort and build that connection together.
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