Have you ever felt angry? If you’re a human being on this earth, then most likely, the answer is a resounding “yes!”. We can’t help it. Anger is a natural emotion and response to the challenges we face. However, just because it's normal does not mean that anger has to take over your life.
There are many coping strategies and tools to help you work through and manage your anger—5 of which we’ll be discussing today. It’s important to keep in mind that what works for someone else may not work for you, and vice versa. As you read through and implement these strategies, make sure you find what best suits your needs, situation, and lifestyle. Lastly, remember to give yourself so much compassion. Your anger is nothing to be ashamed of and there is hope for managing it.
Before we jump into the 5 tips, we also want to say that there is a difference between situational anger—feeling angry when your friend lies to you or seeing some injustice occur—and a deeper anger issue. While coping tools can be beneficial in both cases, this post is not a substitute for professional help when professional help is warranted.
Tip #1: Release Your Anger in a Healthy Way
This is a tool for in the moment of your anger, whether you’re sitting at your desk, on your couch, or out with friends. When you feel angry, it can be easy to be embarrassed and want to push the emotion aside. However, any emotion that we shove down will just erupt even bigger at a later time…especially anger.
So, we need to find ways to release our anger. But of course, we can’t go around lashing out every time something bothers us or screaming at everyone that annoys us. The keyword in this tip is healthy. You need to find constructive ways to release your anger that will still be helpful.
Here are a few of our suggestions:
- Punch a pillow
- Scream or cry someplace safe (into a pillow, in your car, etc.)
- Tear up a piece of paper
- Workout to release pent up energy—go for a run, lift weights, try kickboxing
- Journal about what’s on your mind or causing the anger
Tip #2: Work on Relaxation
Part of managing your anger is not just in the heat of the outburst, but rather in the daily moments leading up to it. Relaxing certainly won't remove the anger issues for good, but doing so can help you live in a less stressful, less heightened state. When you live more consistently in that more peaceful state, it’s easier to let things go and manage your anger.
Only you know what naturally relaxes you. Below, we’ve provided some ideas and science-backed strategies to try out too. Note, some of these tips could also help you in the moment of rage.
- Spend time in nature
- Try practicing yoga or taking a long walk
- Listen to calming music
- Make time to do something fun
- Do something with your hands that calms you such as painting, coloring, or crocheting
Tip #3: Notice Your Triggers
Whether you deal with anger situationally or chronically, there is often something that triggered said emotion. And oftentimes, as you begin to notice your triggers, you’ll find regular patterns to address.
Noticing your warning signs can help you avoid them, communicate them to others, and work through why those things trigger you in the first place. Understanding what sort of situations fire up your anger can also help you develop ways to cope and react better before the situation happens again.
On this note, when you do get triggered, remove yourself from the moment or situation if at all possible. Getting away from the situation helps you cool down and take time before responding. It also allows you to be more proactive in problem solving rather than being reactive to the triggers.
Tip #4: Practice Grounding Techniques
Similar to our second tip, grounding techniques can be done both in the moment and overall in your life to help prevent outbursts. If you don’t know the science behind grounding, it’s attempting to control symptoms or emotions by turning attention away from thoughts, worries, triggers, etc. and refocusing on the present moment.
Practicing grounding could include: breathing techniques, taking a cold shower, focusing on each part of your body and actively relaxing it, meditation or prayer, or doing the 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 technique (name 5 things you can see, 4 things you can touch, 3 things you can hear, 2 things you can smell, and 1 thing you can taste).
Tip #5: Problem Solve
Sometimes anger is a natural, healthy response to the difficulties around you. It can show a specific problem to solve or a situation to deal with. And, working through your anger can come from working through the problem. You can use the energy and passion of your frustrations to talk your problem out, make a plan, and start making progress.
At the same time, not every problem has an easy solution or any at all. This could, unfortunately, add to your feelings of frustration. It’s important to not be black-and-white about problem solving and focus more on the fact that you are putting in the effort. If a solution can be found, it will! So keep up the good work, regardless of whether you have a perfect solution or not.
Conclusion
We hope these tips and tools for coping with your anger help you. As another reminder, what works for someone else may not work for you, and that’s okay! We are all different so it’s important to find what best fits you, your situation, and your lifestyle.
Most importantly, you don’t have to go through any of this—dealing with and working through your anger— alone. Open up to someone that you’re close to and can trust. If you want to talk to someone about what’s causing you to be angry or on how to deal with your intense feelings, but have nowhere to turn, we can help.
Click the link below to connect with someone who cares about you and your anger.
