What comes to mind when you think about “the holidays”?
Maybe it’s cheer and parties, joy and laughter, the most wonderful time of the year.
Or maybe it’s more busy schedules, stress and worry, dreaded chores and pushing yourself to get everything done…really anything but wonderful.
Regardless of how the holidays make you feel, they are coming.
While we can’t change the fact that the holidays are around the corner, we can help you learn how to cope and handle any stress that may come along. Because at the end of the day, we want to prevent your holidays from becoming holidazed.
Here are 9 powerful tips to help you handle the holiday stress and even find some joy again:
While this suggestion may seem silly, do not underestimate the power of taking long, deep breaths. Even doing so for just 1 minute can truly make a world of difference! Deep breathing entails initiating from your stomach and diaphragm, inhaling through your nose, and exhaling through your mouth—allowing your belly and chest to both fully expand.
Some of the benefits include1:
Everyone, no matter how busy they are, can take 1 minute out of their schedule to focus on breathing. Practice doing it while you’re driving to run errands or in the parking lot. Excuse yourself and use the restroom at an overwhelming dinner or party. Try taking a 1-minute break in between meetings at work. You may not be able to control the chaos around you, but you can calm the storm inside of you with deep breathing.
In case you need this reminder today, you’re not superwoman or superman. We 100% believe that you are amazing and capable…but you can’t do it all. No one can. And it’s often thinking or tricking ourselves into believing we can do everything that makes things that much more difficult for us.
When preparing for the holidays, knowing your limits is key. This allows you to work around limitations, set boundaries, know what to say yes/no to, etc. For example, if you know money will be tight this year, offer to help set up for an event rather than contributing financially. Or, if you know your schedule is jam-packed, suggest picking up some of the food since you won’t be able to help the host set up. If you know that you get burnt out after seeing people 3x a week, don’t say yes to that 4th invitation to do something.
The holidays often make us think we have to do it all, even more than the rest of the year. But at the end of the day, you’re doing your best. Good enough is actually good enough, even if it’s not your all-time best or someone else’s best. It’s the best you can do right now, and that’s enough.
Knowing your limits feeds right into setting healthy boundaries. Everyone’s *favorite* word, but so important, especially this time of year. Once you know your limits, you can set clear boundaries with yourself and others. Making sure they are clear in your mind will help you stick to them when others push back or try to get you to do something else.
Here are some examples of what boundaries could look like this season:
Whatever boundaries you need to set to keep yourself healthy, make time for rest and joy, and be able to handle the holidays is what you need to do. The holidays will be a lot easier if you have an idea of what they will or won’t look like for you.
We often have high expectations of ourselves and our holidays, which unfortunately, often ends in disappointment, frustration, and feeling deflated when our celebrations don’t live up to expectations.
Don’t get us wrong, it’s great to plan and dream what your magical holidays could look like. But, it’s also important to be realistic about your workload, schedule, abilities, circumstances, etc. No matter how badly you want to do something, it may just not be what’s doable for you this year, and that’s okay. It’s also great to stretch yourself to try something new, but placing expectations of perfection, success at first try, or standards you simply cannot meet is not healthy.
Take some time before the holidays to think of and write down what you can and can’t commit to. Again, be realistic! No one is judging you. Once you figure out what you’re capable of, you can go from there and do the best with what you have. Remember, imperfection is perfectly healthy and normal, especially around the holidays.
While the holidays do tend to be a lot about everyone else, that fact doesn't negate the importance of taking time for yourself. It may be an old cliché, but you truly can’t pour from an empty cup. And the holidays often require a lot of pouring.
If you’re looking ahead towards the holiday season with dread about your work schedule, holiday events stacking up, things being added to your plate, etc., make sure you also find time to schedule something fun that brings you joy.
Whether it’s taking time to step back and be by yourself, doing something relaxing that fills up your cup, trying something new like a painting or cooking class, or gathering friends for some holiday fun like trivia, sledding, seeing a movie, or a game night at home, your future self will thank you for it.
We often leave things until the last minute which only adds to our ongoing stress. Planning ahead allows you to know when you’re overbooked, know what to say yes/no to, and ensure you make time for everything you need to do. While you can’t plan for everything, planning what you can control will help add some structure to your holiday season, which will help make things run more efficiently and smoothly.
Maybe it’s planning your meals ahead of a dinner party you’re hosting so you know what to buy and prepare, or setting a budget to stick to this holiday season to help you plan your finances. Maybe it’s asking people for help ahead of time before an event so it doesn’t all fall on you. Even looking ahead at your busy agenda for the week and scheduling in time for movement, filling up your cup, meeting with friends, etc. is greatly beneficial.
Planning ahead can take some of the stress off your shoulders and help you feel better prepared for heading into a busy holiday season. Plan what you can and let go of the rest.
Oftentimes when the holiday stress kicks in, our vision narrows and we only think about ourselves and what we have going on. This can lead to a heavily-overwhelmed mind, irritability, or a less-than-kind response when things don’t go our way.
Holidays also tend to be difficult times for people, especially for those who have family conflict or have experienced loss, which can cause others to lash out. While our first thought might be to get defensive and snap back, the best thing we can do is to practice responding to everyone with kindness and grace. Because the truth is, we’re all imperfect and going to mess up. A lot.
Another way to practice kindness is to do something for someone else. Things like volunteering at a shelter or food bank, asking your neighbors how you can help, baking some treats or food for an elderly friend or family member, or giving someone a compliment can be great places to start. Placing the focus on someone else can take our minds off our own chaos and help remind us what this season is really about.
When the holidays roll around, many of us throw our healthy routines and habits out the window. This change alone can make us feel off balance on top of an already stressful time of year. While your habits and routines may look different or need to change this season, it’s important to continue doing that which helps keep you going physically, mentally, emotionally, etc.
Continue keeping up with habits such as:
Remember, busier schedules don’t mean you give up on yourself. Maintaining your healthy habits is what will allow you to keep going and have a successful holiday season.
We know it may seem easier to push feelings down or stay busy to ignore them—especially when the holiday season offers so many distractions. However, doing this will only make your emotions explode back up in an even more extreme and harsh manner later...maybe even at unwanted times like that one very important dinner party.
The holidays bring up a lot of feelings, both positive and negative. The more you recognize and accept this, the easier navigating the holidays and your emotions will be. Acknowledge and accept whatever it is you’re feeling, because it’s valid, and then make space to feel and process it in a healthy way, such as journaling, talking it out, going for a run, or having a good cry. We also encourage you to share what you’re feeling with friends and family. It’s more likely than not that they are feeling a similar way as you, and you’ll be reminded that you’re not alone in this.
The holidays are undoubtedly a mixed season full of parties, cheer, and joy, as well as busy schedules, long to-do lists, and stress. None of us can make the holidays stop or time slow down. However, we hope these 9 tips encourage, inspire, and challenge you to take the holidays head on with a newfound strength and gameplan. If you’re feeling overwhelmed about where to start, just pick 1 of the following suggestions below and commit yourself to practicing that this week.
Remember, you don’t have to do it all. In fact, you can’t do it all…even when it comes to implementing these strategies to help you handle the holiday stress. But, you can do your best, take things one step at a time, and make the most of what you have and can do. We’re cheering you on because we believe in you!
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1. Moshi